I feel as if I’m never getting enough air. Like the pressure you feel in your chest whilest exploring the deepest part of the pool? And you start to panic a bit because you realize that you have misjudged your distances and now you’re stuck at the bottom of the pool with all of the air being forced out of your lungs by the water pressing in on you from every direction and you’re not sure you will make it to the surface again before your body’s screams for air cause your mouth to open in attempts to actually scream thus filling your lungs with water or if maybe the pressure will completely collapse your everything and you will just cease to be. Or maybe you manage to break the surface gasping and spluttering for air. You drag yourself out of the pool and lay there taking the biggest gulps of air you can manage, like you’re trying to make up for lost time or something. And then there’s the combination of the feeling of immintent crushing paired with the insatiable need for more air. That combination is what I’m feeling all day everyday and I just… I don’t know. I want to say that I can’t, but I don’t even have anything to be able to not about? I just…just?
As of a couple of nights ago.
WHY MUST I WAIT FOR NEW EPISODES?!
This is why I don’t stay caught up with shows for the most part. I am not at all patient so instead I just wait until there won’t be any new episodes ever (aka the show is over for good) and then I watch them all and I know everything and I’m happy and yes. But now, I must wait. Boo!
Doesn’t matter, had Doctor Who!
It hurts to breathe. It hurts to think. It hurts to hope. It hurts to sleep. It hurts to wake. It hurts to talk. It hurts to keep quiet. Everything fucking hurts all the time and I just…can’t anymore.
Watched this last night and cried my eyes out (getting teary just thinking about it). SUCH an amazing episode
That I can be just fine one second, I’d even say almost content, and then out of nowhere I’m being completely crushed by sadness and fear and just too much emotion to describe? Like I can’t breathe and I can’t even really feel anything except for this overwhelming sense of “not good”. And I need a hug and I need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay and I need to believe them. What is this?!
Dear drunken me from last night,
Putting the empty bottle of juice back in the fridge with a note on it reading “Shhh! The juice is regenerating like the Doctor! Come back in the morning.” wasn’t all that helpful when I was late for work and really wanted juice. Your shenanigans are not as funny as you think they are.
Juicelessly yours,
Sober me
It’s the first time I’ve been weekend drunk since New Years!! So many excites! I love weekend drunk! But I have my first day at work in the morning… So you know that should be fun? Lolz
